I’ve pondered this particular topic for quite some time and I always wondered how politically correct I would be in broaching on such an article. However, it came to light today so I decided to talk about it.

We have 3 little ones in the house under 6 years old, with Kendall being the middle child at 4. It’s always hectic in our house, with discipline running rampant at any given moment. It is so chaotic that the time out spot is worn down to the floorboards. There is no shortage of craziness in our lives and it gets even more stressful because both me and Cathy hold full time (work at home) jobs. The kids are always in our face and always around the system. All of this is outside of the challenges we face with WHS and it’s impact on our lives. Needless to say, it’s downright complex at home. HOWEVER, there is one thing that brings reality to our every day lives.

So, what I am saying? Well, what I really want to say is that with the complexity that surrounds our day, there is a ray of sunshine that balances the inner peace in everyone in our home. The impact of WHS on Kendall has created a simple little child that takes the chaos out of everything down to the lowest common denominator. Because she isn’t manipulative or competing like all other children her age, life is just plain and simple in her book. And because things may not be processed the same way as in other children, we see the basic functions and feelings in their purest form. No matter what the challenge, she is always there to give love and happiness.

Over the past 2 days, Kendall has been ill with some sort of stomach flu. Vomiting has been commonplace and last night, she was heaving her guts out; clearly struggling with things. But as she wrapped up emptying out her stomach, she couldn’t be happier talking about the basic needs of her life, which is nothing but being loved. No matter how sick she is, she rebounds and gives back all that she can. She demands very little in return outside of an occasional “Up”, “Coat On”, “Hungry”, or “Sit down”. All other kids I know are in constant need of attention, care and need to be under constant watch. But not Kendall…Life is simple and her goal is to just be happy. In a funny way, I compare her to a dog we once had because of her selflessness and goal to make the people around her happy and content (please don’t take this the wrong way!).

Yes, simplicity cannot be understated. Yes, our WHS kids give us a spin in life that we didn’t quite sign up for. We would all hope for something different, but the cards we are dealt with have been dealt for a reason. I know that the reason Kendall is with us is to bring us down to earth and to give us the perspective on the basic foundation of reality. In our everyday attempt to grab the world by the balls, she is churning along leaving behind bits and pieces of love in all that she does. She stops to smell all the roses and share her very simple joys each and every minute. In the midst of trying to sort out all of the complexities of the other kids in our lives, Kendall is slowing down time so that we can see things for what they really are. No other child in my life can do what she does. The simple joys of life are now more clear to me, all because Kendall shows them to me every day. And I love her so much for being just who she is…uncomplicated.

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11 Responses to Simplicity Can’t be Understated

  1. taylorbug says:

    Great article! I hope Kendall feels better soon!

  2. Lee-Ann says:

    Get better soon Kendall!

  3. Leonie says:

    Aww poor wee Kendall, hope she feels better soon.

  4. crivera75 says:

    Beautifully written! Our children have taught us so much about slowing down and enjoying life one day at a time.

    “We can not change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” Randy Pausch

    Thanks for sharing Kevin!

  5. Kristy says:

    I loved reading this Kevin! Well said and also spot on for our family. 🙂

  6. Ross says:

    Ok, so I thought I’d share this with Vicki over an after-dinner glass of wine, and we both ending up just nodding in silent agreement with tears in our eyes. Extremely touching, life-affirming post that I am sure will resonate with every parent who reads it. Thank you Kevin!

  7. KevinO says:

    Of course, she’s feeling better and back to her tricks. It’s all so engaging with her and easy to see the light…

  8. Dana says:

    Well said! Wonderfully written article:-)

  9. Nicki says:

    Your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! Kendall sounds like a positive treasure, and I’m happy for you that she is in your life.

  10. Noreen says:

    This is so very true with many children with disabilities. There is a peacefull acceptance of love, responsibility, gratitude and appreciation we all learn on the journey of parenting a child who is “special.” At times it is such a burden, but there is an inner rightness and a realization of the pure gift. I think this group sees this too now in supporting Mia and her family. But just really want to send you healing energy for Kendall.. I hope the flu passed quickly.. It is interesting too that in reading your post I remember when my very AD(H)D somewhat rambunctious boys got ill… one in particular was so sweet, he would be so darling and pale and just lie around on the couch and watch Disney’s Fantasia over and over.. He was so very calm, less hyper, and not demanding of my parental energies. I would feel sorry for him as he puked, but at some level was grateful for the calm pace in addressing these more simple needs… broth bananas, applesauce and toast or saltines,, along with sips of water.. That was easy..and I love him either way..

  11. shirley bidnick says:

    Kendall is beautiful. I have tried to capture Rochelle’s spirit in words, but you have done this more successfully than I have. I do wonder sometimes if unconditional, uncomplicated love is genetically determined, a gift, that most people would consider a mistake.

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