As we all know, kids are really inquisitive and perceptive. They are also very honest and pure; always asking interesting questions.
My son, Carsen, asked an interesting question today: “is Cailen smarter than Kendall?”. Cathy and I looked at each other and started laughing. No idea why we found this funny, but I guess it had to do with the fact that the question was even asked. Actually, the question stumped us as we sat and tried to determine an answer that made sense to a 4 year old. After thinking about it for about 15 seconds, we realized that we weren’t quite sure of the correct answer. Cailen is just over 2 years old and Kendall will be 4 in July.
After contemplating our reply, we landed with what we thought would be the most accurate way to get an answer we could live with. We asked Carsen what he thought who was smarter. He quickly said “Kendall”. He spends a lot of time wth both of the girls and would probably be able to better answer his own question, and in his mind, it was clear. His answer made us quite happy, as it gave us a ray of hope that Kendall may function higher than we’ve been expecting. I know it sounds weird to think that we’re excited to believe that Kendall is smarter than her 2 year old sister, but we know hat this will shift quickly. Cailen is clearly learning at a much more rapid pace, but for the time being, we’ll be happy for Kendall’s superior knowledge!
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Tricky question for sure! Your kiddos are all beautiful and so close!
I am waiting for Ryan to begin asking me the difficult questions: Why isn’t Kaylee walking like the other kids her age? Why won’t Kaylee answer me when I talk to her? What is ‘wrong’ with Kaylee? He is very intuitive and smart little guy, so I know that he is already thinking some of these thoughts, even if he hasn’t asked them yet. I caught him staring at the other babies in Kaylee’s daycare class who were crawling and pulling to stand. He’d look at them and then turn to look at his sister. I love the way you were able to handle Carsen’s questions; I wish I’d have the same solution. Mark and I will have to come up with something beyond “She is a little delayed” eventually; for now, I just hope and pray that she begins sitting up and interacting a bit more so that her delays are not as obvious…even to a 3-year old.
We always tell Carsen that she is a little different, but he never gets into a lot of detail with the questions. We try to let him know that she won’t be like other kids. For the most part, he just goes along with the program. Carsen and Kendall are only 13 months apart, so he doesn’t really know much different.
My 4 year old asked me the other day if our friends little boy who is six months younger than Harry was older than Harry. When I explained that he wasn’t he had all sorts of questions about how Harry couldn’t sit up etc. It was really hard to explain but he has spent everyday since trying to help Harry grab his clothes and sit up? He just loves him to bits!
Carson’s question and answer seems quite profound. Maybe he is still young enough to see spiritual things more clearly. Sometimes I look at Rochelle and think she is smarter than I am. She’s mastered love, is always patient, kind, peaceful,forgiving, honest, humble, generous,and respectful. Her life has been marked by suffering and poor health but she’s never complained. She has been given so little but she is full of joy.
You have captured Kendall’s life beautifully in your blog, photos and video’s. As I enjoy them, I don’t see her disability or differences, because I am focused on her development and abilities. I am only reminded of her differences only when I see her next to her siblings. I have had these visual disturbances with Rochelle. Even though her WHS has resulted in more severe disabilities, I see her as completely normal until I purposely compare her to person without the same disabilities. I understand Carson’s question and underlying confusion. The answer isn’t clear.